raoul-duke

Creation hasn’t been on my mind. Distractions have. I don’t even know what I’ve been doing, or where I’ve been going.

You know those people? The ones that will twist words and meanings to get their way? The ones that can find something out of anything and just use, use, and use it? As if they are the only person in this world with any meaning, or purpose. The kind of parasite that sucks the life out of you, and leaves nothing but infectious diseases behind.

Trust me, I always knew what was coming. I didn’t for once expect anything more but a trade. Maybe I should go more for the take, than the trade? Or maybe I’m too nice to do such a thing. Not so much hope for society, just more or less the hope for the loss of double standards.

Double standards are hogwash, and should be eaten like slop out of a bucket.

Then there are those people that don’t want anything from you, but your company. Is that something substantial? Should I be so careful around these people as I am? You tell someone something just to make yourself feel better about what you’re really doing. Honesty is fine, people are okay, or put off by it, but lying makes people angrier.

Really, I think it just makes us all a species of hypocrites, living through our ideas and discussions. What are we going to do about it?

I typically don’t take them well, or for that matter give them out very often. It’s hard for me to be cordial, and nice. At least, how society sees that you should be.

Maybe I ask too many questions? Or not enough? All I know is I never get all the answers.

It’s kind of like exploring those abandoned buildings with the no trespassing signs. You’re too curious to think about the repercussions.

I sang loudly on the kitchen island with Chris Brown at my feet. Destiny was behind me leading the music. The energy was high and the house was full of schizophrenic punks. They passed around my bongo beating along to the beat. I swallowed my beer in gulps; probably larger than I should have, but it was New Years. I was enjoying myself and my friends.

When everything went to hell, I’m not sure, but I had gone inside a few minutes prior with a headache and a stomach full of alcoholic beverages. I was sick, and I didn’t want to indulge in that feeling, so I slept it off.

That’s when the kid pulled the knives out of the drawer. Jojo watched him and simply thought that this homely looking guy was stealing silverware. “In retrospect I probably should have stopped him.”, he said later looking back on the nights’ events. Destiny turned to him and questioned, “What was more punk, The Dead Kennedys or that party?” To which he replied, “Dude that party.” The kid with the knives was screaming for blood on his face, going deeper into a bought of dissociative anger.

The struggle moved into the living room where I was in a deep sleep on the couch and landed on top of me, but I was not moving. I could of have been dead or killed, but sleep was the only important thing in my life at the moment.

There was angst all through out the house, I think it’s setting the mood for the New Year. Be ready, it’s all about to hit a whole new level.