I’m going to fall back into a hole, because once again realizations are all the same. No one is different. No one. I don’t talk to people, becaue their eyes tend to glaze over because they don’t want to take the time to listen. Even my closest friends. So I just don’t bother. They are easily swayed, and everything is piled with grains of salt. I should just carry a salt lick around with me.
If I ever need a place to stay, I’m not calling anybody. I’m buying a backpack. The more I try to create ties, I just end up tying really loose knots. I understand that you can only rely on yourself, so I do.
But I still have to admit that I get disappointed from time to time.
Phosphenes n. the stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes
Sometimes I feel like I can’t trust my eyes. Time is a structure, so it’s impossible to stop, but my vision becomes more enept, and I see the movement of each part of a whole. This color spectrum is so limiting, and hard to reproduce properly without pure light, yet these colors are only seen when you close your eyes.
Possibly I’m a little out of my mind, but maybe I’m not. Doesn’t matter either way, because none of this means anything to anybody. Not even me.
Today, I should probably meditate. I’m losing my focus.
- Turn in film.
- Buy blue shirt for the wedding.
- Go to AOE, Office Depot, and Walmart.
There is no key to my gate, but you still come around.
Lean your ladder against my window, and I’ll come down. I’ll come down.” —